Be The “Ol’ Faithful” Of Your Market And Let Your Competitors Be Salespeople

Michael Hume - Word Play logo

August, 2022 * Volume II, Number 8

Dear Consistent Reader,

Here we are, “quittin’ time” here in God’s Country (the Mountain time zone). Friends on the west coast, you’re almost there! East coast: Aren’t you in bed by now?

Whatever your time zone, I’m sure you’re delighted to receive this month’s edition of your favorite news-free newsletter, Word PLAY!

In it, we talk about getting blitzed, and how your ideal customers don’t care for it.


Joking aside, THANK YOU for reading, and for making Firewords Creative Copy your go-to source for the words that win and the funny that makes money. I am humbled by your support, and seriously grateful for your business.

- Michael

Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Senior Author and Swimsuit Model
Firewords Creative Copy

Meanwhile, in this edition of Word PLAY...

Be The "Ol' Faithful" Of Your Market And Let Your Competitors Be Salespeople

Word PLAY… Playful Monthly Commentary
On Persuasive Copy For YOUR Business

What kind of person are you?

Are you the kind who waits until you get that notice in the mail that your big class reunion is happening in three weeks, and who tries to lose those extra 45 pounds of stubborn belly fat in time?

Do you read a book in one sitting, or not at all, which is why my book is still languishing in unread obscurity at the bottom of your reading pile? Under the gossip magazines, no less?

Are you the type of person who waits until an intriguing show is available for “streaming” (whatever that is), and then binges all weekend on it, neglecting personal hygiene, and getting sick of the show before lunchtime on Sunday?

Do you only get gas when your car runs out, and you’re calling your emergency service from the side of a busy highway to ask for a lift to the nearest station?

Wait to charge your phone until it turns itself off? Fail to do laundry until you’ve been wearing your swimsuit to work for a couple days? Send your tax stuff to your accountant four days after the filing deadline, and ask her to wave her magic wand and fix things with The Tax Man?

No, you’re not THAT person. Heh heh, of course not. You would never do any of these things.

Oddly enough, though, some business owners DO behave this way when it comes to marketing their business.

“OMG!” you can almost hear them breathlessly exclaim. “Business has dropped through the floor! Quick, print up some flyers and paste the neighborhood with them… schedule a Grand Reopening (Great idea! We haven’t done one of those since we opened!)… hire a commissioned salesperson… borrow money to buy banner ads online… slash prices… put up signs… call everyone in the phone book… sell, sell, SELL!”

A sales blitz like this can have a short-term positive effect on the bottom line… but there are problems with marketing this way:

  • You’re 100% coming across as a salesperson. You are self-focused, not customer focused, and everyone can see it.
  • The short-term positive effect you might get is just that – short-term. Once customers sign on at your new slashed price, they’ll likely stay until you raise the price again… or until Brand X down the road holds their own Super Special Grand Re-Opening.
  • It costs money you don’t have, since your business’s “gas tank” is suddenly empty.
  • Look up three months after the “blitz,” and you’ll find your business has suffered long-term effects, because you’ve replaced good, paying customers with a roster full of bargain-seeking, low-paying, non-loyal transactional buyers.
  • It’s a lot of work, and stressful. It could cause you to neglect gas stops and laundry, and to put on 45 extra pounds of stubborn belly fat.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do “big splash” marketing blitzes like this from time to time. All I’m saying is that, if this is your primary or ONLY marketing method, you might want to look into the possibility that you ARE that person… that short-sighted, lizard-brained dolt who never reads my book.

Consistency in marketing is KEY.

You should do at least a couple different things to market your business, consistently, every day, week, or month.

(Experts differ on this. Some say you should do 3-5 different things every so often. Some say 5-10 different things. Some say 124 things, but their “expert” status is dubious, to say the least.)

(But nobody who knows anything about marketing thinks you should wait until you run out of gas, so to speak.)

That’s why my clients publish monthly or semi-monthly marketing messages with an upbeat, customer-focused tone. And they do this every month, without fail.

They’re consistent. And they even have the guts to make their marketing messages fun to read, which is probably why people actually read those messages at a rate studies show is about 50% higher than the average.

Then, when they do run a promotion, their short-term results are supported by long-term efforts, and their “blitzes” move the business forward, not back.

I myself once read a newsletter – possibly this one – which promoted this “consistency” idea. Since then, and you may have noticed, I publish an upbeat, lightly HUME-orous newsletter which both entertains (so I’m told) and offers Marketing Wisdom, at no cost to my readers.

And I do it consistently. I publish on the last day of the calendar month, at precisely quittin’ time (5:00 p.m.) in the Mountain Time Zone.

Never trust a marketing writer who doesn’t practice what he preaches. And never wear your swimsuit to work, especially when you’re 45 pounds overweight and spent the weekend binge-watching TV instead of bathing. We just can’t un-see, or un-smell, that.

Key Take-Aways From This Edition

  • I am 45 pounds overweight. Thanks for not shaming me.
  • “Sales blitzes” bring short-term results, at best, and they’re still self-focused “sales” programs.
  • You’re better than that. Let Brand X do the selly-stuff, and let them capture the bargain-seeking non-loyal transactional buyers.
  • Consistency is the key to marketing. Fill your client roster with loyal, fun-to-work-with people who will pay you what you’re worth.
  • One way to accomplish that is to be fun to work with, yourself… and you can tell the world you’re THAT kind of person when you funny-up your marketing messages, even just a little bit.

Pretty “key,” huh? Well, don’t despair… even though we’ve run out of gas on this month’s Key Take-Aways, you’ll get more brilliant insight on the last day of next month, when you’ll receive the next action-packed edition of Word PLAY! See you then!


Discussion Questions

  1. 1
    How often do you charge your phone?
  2. 2
    Extra credit if you charge it in your consistently gassed-up automobile
  3. 3
    Are you ready to publish lightly HUME-orous marketing copy on a consistent basis, thereby clobbering your swimsuit-wearing, overweight, out-of-gas competitors?

Send your answers to The most creative, inspirational response will be eligible to win a PRIZE! *

(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Michael Hume, his heirs and assigns, and the committee that’s planning your next class reunion. None of them are overweight. Top prize is the complete series of your favorite TV show… just check your streaming service. If it’s NCIS, though, I’ll just mention in passing that [a] you’re awesome, and [b] there’s no way you’re getting through that baby in a weekend. Deadline, if any, is the end of a long weekend of hygiene-free television. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be enlarged to poster size and displayed at the reunion. Avoid this by keeping it lively. Good luck!)

Last Month’s Grand Prize Winner: Paul W. of Lakewood, Colorado is our winner, because it’s his birthday today. Happy Birthday, Paul! And when you get around to it, send me an actual response to last month’s edition. Most of the responses I got were too profane to be finalists. Readers, this month’s winner could be YOU! Especially if your birthday falls on the last day of next month.

Not yet subscribed to Word PLAY? (HORRORS!)

I write HUME-orous marketing copy for happy clients who take their professions very seriously… but whose customers like and trust them because they don’t take themselves too seriously. Want more info? Get in touch…

Call me: (303) 478-8702
Email me:
Investigate me:
Watch an episode of NCIS: 195 South Rancho Vista Drive, Pueblo West, CO 81007

Hey, would you mind doing me a quick favor? Forward Word PLAY to someone you know who could use a monthly laugh and/or some extremely brilliant insights on marketing copy! If your friend subscribes, both of you get Word PLAY every month... for FREE!

Copyright 2022 by Michael D. Hume, M.S. All rights reserved.
Your mother warned you about stuff like Word PLAY!
FireWords Creative Copy, 195 South Rancho Vista Drive , Pueblo West, CO 81007, United States

Michael D. Hume, M.S.

Michael Hume is a freelance writer, singer, and songwriter, and author of The 95th Christmas. He's an honor graduate of the Defense Information School, and holds an M.S. from the University of Colorado School of Business. Michael is the author of hundreds of online articles, including the popular series Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, The Conscience of a Restorationist, Appreciate Your Adversaries, and Take Care of Your Business.

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