Who Are You Attracting?

Michael Hume - Word Play logo

July, 2021 * Volume I, Number 7

Dear Attractive Reader,

In this, your fresh hot news-free newsletter, you’re going to learn the great secret to being successful on the dating scene.

“Finally,” you sigh. “Hume sends me something useful!”

Ha ha. Very funny. But I think you will find it useful, so I’m inclined to receive your sarcasm with the good-natured humor for which I’m so famously known.


Joking aside, THANK YOU for reading… for not opting out just yet… and for making Firewords Creative Copy your go-to source for the words that win and the funny that makes money. I am humbled by your support, and seriously grateful for your business.

- Michael

Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Senior Author and Platform Curator
Firewords Creative Copy

Meanwhile, in this edition of Word PLAY...

Who Are You Attracting?

Word PLAY… Playful Monthly Commentary
On Persuasive Copy For YOUR Business

I know absolutely nothing, and maybe less than that, about dating.

I think I went on one date back in high school, and it was a flaming disaster. Wanda (not her real name), if you’re reading this, I’m still deeply sorry.

But I do know a lot about marketing. Which is basically the same thing.

There’s a reason people put their most attractive, most exciting, most “this is me and I’m AWESOME” photo on their dating profiles. The successful ones, anyway. So I’m told.

(I do not have a dating profile of my own. I already have an awesome wife, and no desire to mess that up… and I’m pretty sure she’d frown on me dating. Just sayin.’)

So the pictures you see on successful dating profiles are generally attractive. But what are those people doing in those pictures?

Again, I’m just guessing here, but if your dating profile pic is…

… Formal, like you’re wearing a suit and tie, I assume you’re looking for a formal date. Like maybe a date to a formal dinner or something.

… Casual, like maybe you’re wearing casual clothing (or, in some cases, not much of that), I assume you’re looking to “date casually,” as the kids say these days.

… FUN, like maybe you’re actually doing something fun and entertaining in your photo… like maybe you’re playing a game or sitting on a boat (I don’t know, what’s “fun” these days?)… I assume you’re looking to meet FUN people.

That’s all fine with me. Date whoever you want. But bringing the topic roundly back to marketing, consider who it is you might be attracting with your marketing materials.

Your competitor, Brand X, has this word-picture equivalent of a dating profile picture on her website:

“Providing systemization and automated infrastructure sustainability within variegated platform solutions designed for market-based or cloud-based technological verification and process integration guaranteeing both industrial and commercial digital scaleability.”

Sounds like someone you can’t wait to bump into at a party. Am I right?

Based on this sparkling description of her business, Brand X is looking for clients who expect long words and cutting-edge industry jargon.

She’s looking for demanding, often-difficult clients who know big words too, just like she does. She’s looking for uptight people for whom being seen as “professional” is The Holy Grail.

In short, she’s looking for clients she can complain about over too much chardonnay, virtually every night of the week.

She’s definitely not looking for fun people who are easy to know, like, and trust… who don’t take themselves too seriously… who are actually a delight to work with and might even share a bottle of chardonnay with her and gripe about their own difficult customers.

That’s why people who take their businesses very seriously – but don’t take themselves too seriously – are updating their “dating profiles” (metaphorically speaking) with persuasive, yet fun-to-read copy.

Put your sense of humor out there, and you might be amazed at the type of clientele you attract. You might even start enjoying your business again, because you get to work with amazing and FUN people.

As the humorless marketing folks over at Brand X will never learn or understand (or be able to copy!), Nothing Makes Money Like Funny.

And nothing attracts fun clients to your business better than, well, fun!

Key Take-Aways From This Edition

  • “Systemization and automated infrastructure sustainability” is a collection of long words.
  • You might seem a bit uptight in your dating profile photo. Loosen up that tie before you choke.
  • Your marketing copy COULD present you as an approachable, likeable, trustworthy person who is also a professional expert… and that might just start attracting clients you’d much prefer to the stiff and ever-disgruntled lot you’re dealing with today.

Want more great take-aways? You’ll have to wait a month for the next edition of Word PLAY! ‘Cause you won’t find any on the Brand X website.


Discussion Questions

  1. 1
    Are you providing sustainable solutions on variegated platforms? Send photos
  2. 2
    Wanda, really, I can’t apologize enough. And your profile picture is very nice.
  3. 3
    How could you funny-up at least SOME of your marketing copy, to let people know how fun-to-work-with you and your company are?

Send your answers to michael@michaelhume.net... The most creative, inspirational response will be eligible to win a PRIZE! *

(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Michael Hume, his heirs and assigns, and a review board of dating site approval personnel who will analyze entries on variegated platforms. Top prize is equal to or greater than a collection of the longest, most jargon-laden words you’ve ever read. Odds of winning are about equal to your odds of meeting a fun person with that stuffy profile picture you’re using… and by the way, nobody believes you’re really that young anyway, so stop pretending. Be yourself. Unless you’re dismal, in which case, keep pretending to be someone else, since that’s working so well for you. Offer void without systemization and cloud-based sustainability. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be posted on your dating profile within 42 seconds. Non-smokers only, please. Have fun, and good luck!)

Last Month’s Grand Prize Winner: Martin M. of Boulder, Colorado won with this: “I totally loved this newsletter. I would definitely be asking the same kind of questions to a doctor who was going to grind my eyeballs.” Call before midnight yesterday to claim your prize! Actually, any time you call it will be great to hear from you, and you’ll still be eligible. But not in a dating sense. You’re married, Dude.

Not yet subscribed to Word PLAY? (HORRORS!)

I write HUME-orous marketing copy for happy clients who take their professions very seriously… but whose customers like and trust them because they (the clients) don’t take themselves too seriously. Want more info? Get in touch…

Call me: (303) 478-8702
Email me: michael@michaelhume.net
Investigate me: FirewordsMedia.com
Variegate my platform: 195 South Rancho Vista Drive, Pueblo West, CO 81007

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Copyright 2021 by Michael D. Hume, M.S. All rights reserved.
Word Play may be taken with food

FireWords Creative Copy, 195 South Rancho Vista Drive , Pueblo West, CO 81007, United States

Michael D. Hume, M.S.

Michael Hume is a freelance writer, singer, and songwriter, and author of The 95th Christmas. He's an honor graduate of the Defense Information School, and holds an M.S. from the University of Colorado School of Business. Michael is the author of hundreds of online articles, including the popular series Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, The Conscience of a Restorationist, Appreciate Your Adversaries, and Take Care of Your Business.

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