Nothin’ Makes Money Like Funny
February, 2022 * Volume II, Number 2
Dear Loyal Reader,
Here it is, at last! The latest edition of Word PLAY!, your Number One source for marketing wisdom and, of course, your favorite news-free newsletter.
This edition is chock full of riveting action and adventure. Also, the topic of customer loyalty comes up from time to time.
Joking aside, THANK YOU for reading, and for making Firewords Creative Copy your go-to source for the words that win and the funny that makes money. I am humbled by your support, and seriously grateful for your business.
Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Senior Author and Bird Wrangler
Firewords Creative Copy
Meanwhile, in this edition of Word PLAY...
Nothin' Makes Money Like Funny
… Because Fun Copy Brings You LOYAL Customers
Word PLAY… Playful Monthly Commentary
On Persuasive Copy For YOUR Business
You may have read somewhere – possibly in almost every edition of Word PLAY! – that when you send lightly humorous marketing copy to your customers and prospects, they actually read it, and they tend to feel like they know you, like you, and can trust you.
Yes, give them fun, entertaining stuff to read, and your customers and prospects will learn all about the important ways in which your company is vastly superior to Brand X down the street… and they’ll also learn that, while you take your business seriously, you don’t take yourself too seriously.
But did you know that, when customers flock like hungry pigeons to your business, based on this Know/Like/Trust thing, they tend to stick to your company, loyally, like a hungry pigeon super-glued to the leg of your trousers?
(NOTE: Do not try gluing pigeons, or any other live creatures, to the leg of your trousers, or really, to anything at all. This is abusive. It’s also weird. And this is a metaphor anyway, for crying out loud.)
My point, if any, is that people do business with people they like and trust; and once they like and trust you, they tend to be very loyal to you and your business.
I’m not saying they’ll endure torture for you. I’m not saying they’ll walk over hot coals for you. I’m not saying they’ll run through walls for you. Just that Brand X will have a hard time luring them away from you with that boring claptrap with which the marketing wizards at their firm pollute people’s inboxes.
To test this theory, the competitor of one of my clients recently kidnapped one of her best customers, and took them to a secret location where they water-boarded the poor guy, dragged him through hot coals, threw him through a wall, and even offered him a ridiculous discount just to bolt from my client’s firm to theirs.
“Never!” the customer said, once he’d spit out the last of the drywall. “I will never leave her! You can torture me! You can drag me through hot coals! You can throw me through – wait, you already did that stuff. You can even cut your prices into tiny crumbs even a hungry pigeon wouldn’t touch. I will never leave her!”
When the customer rolled to a stop after being tossed from the competitor’s unmarked van, he was tempted to contact the authorities, but since this event is completely fictitious, he decided instead to dash to his email, open my client’s latest newsletter, and re-read it again. And again and again.
“No wonder even torture or ridiculous discounts couldn’t lure me away from her,” he whispered to himself. “I know her. I like her. I trust her. She takes her business very seriously, but does it with a smile on her face and in her newsletter!”
“I will gladly pay her more!”
That’s the other thing funny stuff can do for your business: Since your customers enjoy the relationship they have with you and your firm, they perceive great value in your services, and they’ll be willing to pay you more.
So bring it, Brand X. You can copy our services… you can copy our processes… you can copy our prices, and cut them. You can claim you do the same thing we do, but for less. But you still won’t be able to steal our customers, because they like and trust us.
And you will never be able to copy the personality we share with our customers, from the very first time they read our lightly-humorous newsletter.
Key Take-Aways From This Edition
The good news: You’ll get more Key Take-Aways in just one month’s time, when your inbox will be blessed with the next edition of Word PLAY!
- 1Make a list of the key similarities between your firm’s clientele and a flock of hungry pigeons
- 2Have you ever glued an animal? (If so, wait quietly right where you are for the unmarked van from the ASPCA)
- 3Are you ready to create remarkable customer loyalty with lightly-HUME-orous marketing copy?
Send your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org... The most creative, inspirational response will be eligible to win a PRIZE! *
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Michael Hume, his heirs and assigns, and a small flock of extremely loyal – but unharmed – pigeons. No, I’m not calling my clients “pigeons.” I would never do that. It’s just that my clients are all super-busy with all the business they pull down, whereas the pigeons tell me they have nothing really going on right now. Top prize this month is a closely-guarded secret, but I can tell you it ain’t pigeon feed. Deadline for entry is somebody else’s problem. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will have no chance of winning, and may be dragged over hot coals and then fed to pigeons. You don’t want that, and neither do the birds, so send your best work. Good luck!)
Last Month’s Grand Prize Winner: Joel E. from the Denver area became our first repeat winner with this ghastly entry: “I love creative Firewords, but not enough to give you donuts or hot dogs.” Once the expletives were deleted from Joel’s entry, this was pretty-much all that was left, but it was still a winner. Call today to claim your prize, Joel! Then, wash your mouth out with soap.
Not yet subscribed to Word PLAY? (HORRORS!)
I write HUME-orous marketing copy for happy clients who take their professions very seriously… but whose customers like and trust them because they don’t take themselves too seriously. Want more info? Get in touch…
Call me: (303) 478-8702
Email me: email@example.com
Investigate me: FirewordsMedia.com
Feed the birds: 195 South Rancho Vista Drive, Pueblo West, CO 81007
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Copyright 2022 by Michael D. Hume, M.S. All rights reserved.
Always keep Word PLAY! away from open flame
FireWords Creative Copy, 195 South Rancho Vista Drive , Pueblo West, CO 81007, United States