Brochure Rewrite For An Environmental Clean-Up Firm
This client wasn't happy with the content of his brochure, and needed help - fast! - to make it more persuasive, upbeat, and readable.
Here, in part, is what he had...
The Client's Original Text
We are Colorado’s largest by-volume abatement contractor in the State of Colorado. We achieved this distinction by providing customer service at a high level of excellence, with a proven track record of following state guidelines and regulation which ensure your safety. AAI has earned a top rating from the Better Business Bureau, because no matter how large or small a project is, we approach our work with professionalism and high regard for your home or business, striving to make and inconvenient situation as seamless as possible.
What You Can Expect
Once Asbestos Abatement, Inc. has been accepted as the abatement contractor for removal of toxic materials, we work with you to obtain the necessary documentation to begin the removal process. In cases where more than thirty-two square feet of materials are removed, we are obligated to submit a request for a permit through the State according to Regulation 8 standards...
The client sent a brief email describing what he wanted from the piece, thoughts about the right "voice," and a few important points that were left out of the original piece (or needed more emphasis).
The client was particularly keen that the copy be as upbeat as possible... persuasive... and not quite as "way scary."
In a matter of hours, Michael was able to create this...
Michael's Copy: New-And-Improved!
Colorado’s Clean-Up PROS
Since our humble beginning in 2008 (really humble: $150 and a small pick-up truck*), Asbestos Abatement, Inc. has had one mission: to bring you the finest environmental clean-up service available anywhere. We’re passionate about it. Frankly, we’re even a little nuts about keeping you safe, keeping you informed, and keeping your world – home or business – completely clean and hazard-free. Maybe that’s why the Better Business Bureau rated us tops… and why we’ve grown to become Colorado’s largest (by volume) abatement contractor.
Asbestos Is Ugly…
Look, nobody loves that moment when they learn they have asbestos to deal with. We get it. After all, asbestos – which, despite going by scientific names that would challenge the most brilliant spelling-bee champion, is basically just a rock – is ugly. And we’ve all heard about the dangers of asbestos: breathe in enough of those diabolical microscopic fibers, and you get anything from scarred lungs to tumors to, well, a chance to draft your Last Will and Testament. And get this: most folks think asbestos is illegal, but it’s not! Only a few dangerous products have actually been banned… and materials containing this stuff are still shipped to the U.S. and used every day. Anything in your building from floor tiles to pipe insulation might contain asbestos – even if it’s a brand-new building. Ugly!
… But We’ve Got This
You don’t need to panic. In truth, asbestos itself is generally nothing to fret about, as long as it’s contained. It’s only when the material has been disturbed or compromised (like, by a water leak) that the rock “shatters” into tiny assassins you can’t see (but might inhale). But we’ve got this. Our clean-up pros will do a thorough pre-abatement check, take care of all the state’s paperwork (whew!), set up state-of-the-art triple-redundancy containment, and...
The client's final feedback?
"I LOVE what you wrote."