Let AI Write Your Marketing Copy – And Let Us Know How That Works Out
July, 2023 * Volume III, Number 7
Dear Doubting Reader,
Word Play! – your favorite news-free newsletter – is here again, after a month-long vacation. Since it’s a monthly publication, though, you probably didn’t even notice.
I’ve run into a few doubters lately, who question the future of humble crackpot scribes like yours truly, since Artificial Intelligence has now (they think) replaced us. If you’re one of those doubters, this edition is for you! And by the way, I thought I’d write this one myself, rather than turning the duty over to a robot monkey.
Joking aside, THANK YOU for reading, and for making Firewords Creative Copy your go-to source for the words that win and the funny that makes money. I am humbled by your support, and seriously grateful for your business.
Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Senior Author and Leading-Edge Tech Guru
Firewords Creative Copy
Meanwhile, in this edition of Word PLAY...
Let AI Write Your Marketing Copy!
... And Let Us Know How That Works Out
Word PLAY… Playful Monthly Commentary
On Persuasive Copy For YOUR Business
Hey, business is competitive, marketing his hard, and money’s tight. I get it. So the lure of Artificial Intelligence (AI) as a substitute for hair-brained copywriters like me is obvious.
Maybe you should use AI to write a monthly email newsletter for your business!
Especially if you don’t know any human copywriters who don’t write like robots (you do, though), this is an idea with potential.
If the goal is to get X number of words into X number of email inboxes by X date each month, I don’t see why you’d hire a guy like me to write your email newsletter. Even my poverty-level fees can’t compete with “free,” which is what most people think publishing with AI would be.
Push free button, send free newsletter… marketing done! Am I right?
We used to joke that some jobs are so easy, a trained monkey could do them. And even a marginally-trained monkey could market your business in this manner. In fact, give it a whirl, and you might conclude that marginally-trained monkeys created the robots which are writing your newsletter.
As a highly-trained copywriting monkey, though, I feel obligated to issue a few words of warning.
First, using AI is a bit like the way some people I know started using illicit drugs back in the ‘70s. “Hey, man, just take a FREE hit. See if you like it! Then come back next week and let me know.” Next week, of course, there’s a nominal charge for a “hit.” And the following weeks? Look out.
And now, you’re hooked. You NEED that “hit.”
My point is that your AI robot writer is free THIS month… but won’t be free forever.
And (B), is it really free now? What’s your time worth? You’ll spend time (or pay your assistant to spend time) learning how to use AI. Then, once the robot coughs up your marketing copy, you’ll have to spend time editing it (which, not being a writer, you might mess up).
Then IF, at the end of that, you get copy you’re okay with, you’ll have to figure out how to use Monkey Mail (I think that’s what it’s called), or something like that, to distribute it. Another learning curve. Another hidden cost.
Eventually, AI will be able to produce copy you’re okay with. After all, the little monkeys are fast learners, and they’re learning all the time. And you can probably find robots to do the distribution, and that’ll probably be okay too. Only a few duplicates. Only a few missed customers. Okay.
How about a snazzy graphic heading for your newsletter? Again, a robot can probably come up with one you’re okay with.
So after a few months of sending okay stuff out to your list of customers and prospects, see what kind of results you get. If you get any business at all from this campaign, don’t be surprised if it’s business you’re okay with. Meaning, from okay customers who want to pay you an okay price for okay work.
Mostly, though, your recipients will do exactly what you do when your inbox is hit with okay stuff.
Delete. Delete immediately.
People can tell at a glance when you’re sending them stuff that’s only okay. Stuff you, unlike my clients, are not particularly proud of, but which checks the marketing box.
And fourth, meanwhile, your competitor is over there sending out lightly-humorous monthly newsletters their recipients (some of whom are also YOUR recipients) actually read, because they’re fun to read. Yes, Brand X is keeping their name in front of their (and YOUR) customers on a regular, consistent, welcomed basis.
“But Brand X has to pay a humble yet brilliant copywriter like you to write their newsletter!” you retort.
All I can say is the same thing you probably say to your bargain-seeking customers.
You get what you pay for.
Key Take-Aways From This Edition
How Key are THOSE Take-Aways? Pretty darn Key, I’ll warrant. Who knows? Next month’s could be even MORE Key. Only time will tell!
- 1Do you always get what you pay for? What’s your secret?
- 2Devise a four-day curriculum to train monkeys for marketing work. Don’t forget to build in breaks for lunch and poo-slinging
- 3Would you rather send out a newsletter people welcome and actually read, and that you’re proud to send… or have a robot crank out okay stuff nobody reads, with your name on it?
Send your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org... The most creative, inspirational response will be eligible to win a PRIZE! *
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Michael Hume, his heirs and assigns, and a select committee of marginally-trained primates and reformed drug users. You can just imagine the close scrutiny your entry will get… but please put a little effort into it anyway. This month’s Grand Prize is definitely okay. The committee says having a deadline would be NOT okay, man, so we did away with it. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries have no chance of winning, and may be slung at the wall by certain committee members who are generally hygiene-challenged. Who needs that? So keep it lively. Good luck!)
Last Month’s Grand Prize Winner: Mike K. of Littleton, Colorado is this month’s winner. A man of few words, Mike’s entry was surprisingly brief, containing no words whatsoever. The judges were impressed by this innovative strategy. What will next month’s winner come up with? Hey: It could be YOU!
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