Just The Facts? YAWN

Michael Hume - Word Play logo

August, 2021 * Volume I, Number 8

Dear Fact-Based Reader,

Here’s a fact: the latest edition of your favorite news-free newsletter has made its way through cyberspace, right into your email inbox.

In it, we may or may not be exploring the latest medical research on hair loss. However, we’ll definitely be talking about how to keep from boring your company’s ideal prospects straight into the arms (arms?) of your competitors.


Joking aside, THANK YOU for reading… for not opting out just yet… and for making Firewords Creative Copy your go-to source for the words that win and the funny that makes money. I am humbled by your support, and seriously grateful for your business.

- Michael

Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Senior Author and Bricklayer
Firewords Creative Copy

Meanwhile, in this edition of Word PLAY...

Just The Facts? YAWN

Word PLAY… Playful Monthly Commentary
On Persuasive Copy For YOUR Business

I promise, I’m not making this up.

Once upon a time, many (three) years ago, I was working on website copy for one of my beloved and highly-intelligent clients.

"Bernard," as I’ll call him (to protect his real name, which is Arthur), was one of those people who takes his business seriously, but takes himself FAR MORE seriously.

Bernard actually said this to me as I was going over my notes for one of his web pages: "Whatever you do, just don’t church it up too much."

I mentioned that I was not planning on making reference to Jesus, or any other religious figure, in his home-improvement-type website. So I didn’t know what he meant.

"You know," he said, "Don’t go on an on about how great we are. Just give the facts, and let people make up their own minds. You know, don’t church it up!"

Bernard and I have not worked together on another project since. Hmm. Wonder why.

Oh, wait, I know why! Because "churching it up," as he put it, is exactly what I do. I write persuasive copy to help promote my client’s business. Words scientifically formulated to attract my client’s ideal prospects into a beneficial business relationship with him, and away from Brand X.

Maybe Bernard has a technical writer (perhaps a cheap one from overseas) writing his "marketing" materials these days. I wish him well! But if he asks you to subscribe to his newsletter, hmm, I can probably think of 1,427,212 better things you can do with your time.

Bernard lacked confidence, and he was simply not a likeable guy. He had many good things going for his business, but he was taking things WAY too seriously, and his customers noticed.

I actually heard from two of his customers later-on, and both reported that Bernard’s prices were too high, his employees were eternally unhappy, and his firm’s work was not all that great.

What does that have to do with his website copy, do you ask? Well, not one churched-up thing, really, except for this… people tend to buy from people they like, and when a business owner is not likeable, that fact often seems to infect his or her entire organization, kinda like cancer.

So beware doing business with someone who offers "just the facts," without any passion or emotion, and with all the personality of a weathered brick.

You can usually find someone else offering the same goods or services, but with a positive outlook and marketing messages that say "Hey, we know our stuff, and we’re folks you’d wanna hang out with!"

Business owners like that can often be recognized by, among other things, the fact that they publish a lively, upbeat, fun-to read electronic newsletter.

Like this one!

Key Take-Aways From This Edition

  • Bricks often lack personality, especially when weathered.
  • When you’re not likeable, your customers notice it, no matter how many facts (or bricks) you might throw at them.
  • Do not throw bricks at customers, or, really, anybody.
  • I don’t know about "churching it up," but "funnying up" your marketing copy is a sure way to show your customers and ideal prospects that you are likeable, and someone they’ll enjoy doing business with.

You’ll get even more brilliant insights and key take-aways from next month’s edition of Word PLAY!


Discussion Questions

  1. 1
    So, what are the latest medical findings regarding hair loss? Asking for a friend
  2. 2
    What do you get for Number 1,427,212?
  3. 3
    Do your marketing messages tell people how likeable and fun you are – in addition to how great your firm’s offerings are – or are you stuck in Sergeant Friday mode? ("Just the facts, Ma’am.")

Send your answers to michael@michaelhume.net... The most creative, inspirational response will be eligible to win a PRIZE! *

(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Michael Hume, his heirs and assigns, Sergeant Friday, and a focus group of weathered bricks. Top prize this month is 1,427,212 times better than Brand X, no matter what their boring ol’ website claims. If there were a deadline, all entries would have to be received before that time, so lucky for you there really isn’t one! Entries submitted with the latest hair loss remedies will be given special consideration. Entries submitted with hair will be disqualified, because, ew! Gross. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be sent back inside a box of hair. Enjoy!)

Last Month’s Grand Prize Winner: Cathy M. of Littleton, Colorado was a winner with this: "I continue to get rave reviews about my e-newsletter from folks I see out and about. Thank you!" One guess who writes this rave-reviewed e-newsletter for Cathy M. of Littleton, Colorado! And if you guessed "Billy Crystal," you’re close, but wrong. Thanks, Cathy!

Not yet subscribed to Word PLAY? (HORRORS!)

I write HUME-orous marketing copy for happy clients who take their professions very seriously… but whose customers like and trust them because they (the clients) don’t take themselves too seriously. Want more info? Get in touch…

Call me: (303) 478-8702
Email me: michael@michaelhume.net
Investigate me: FirewordsMedia.com
Regrow my hair: 195 South Rancho Vista Drive, Pueblo West, CO 81007

You’re receiving this because you signed up for it, or gave me your email address. Word PLAY is free of charge, and you’re welcome to unsubscribe at any time. Even if it hurts my feelings a little bit. In the alternative, you could add michael@michaelhume.net to your address book, so we can always stay in touch.

Hey, would you mind doing me a quick favor? Forward Word PLAY to someone you know who could use a monthly laugh and/or some extremely brilliant insights on marketing copy! If your friend subscribes, both of you get Word PLAY every month... for FREE!

Copyright 2021 by Michael D. Hume, M.S. All rights reserved.
Word Play may be rebroadcast without express written consent from Major League Baseball

FireWords Creative Copy, 195 South Rancho Vista Drive , Pueblo West, CO 81007, United States

Michael D. Hume, M.S.

Michael Hume is a freelance writer, singer, and songwriter, and author of The 95th Christmas. He's an honor graduate of the Defense Information School, and holds an M.S. from the University of Colorado School of Business. Michael is the author of hundreds of online articles, including the popular series Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, The Conscience of a Restorationist, Appreciate Your Adversaries, and Take Care of Your Business.

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