I Can’t Publish An Email Newsletter

Michael Hume - Word Play logo

June, 2023 * Volume III, Number 6

Dear Wondering Reader,

It’s finally HERE! This month’s edition of your favorite news-free email newsleter, Word Play!

If you’re wondering whether you would be able to do something, you could ask your spouse, or your parents. But you might get a better, more accurate answer if you were to ask the late Henry Ford. And that’s what this edition is all about.


Joking aside, THANK YOU for reading, and for making Firewords Creative Copy your go-to source for the words that win and the funny that makes money. I am humbled by your support, and seriously grateful for your business.

- Michael

Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Senior Author and Motivational Surfer
Firewords Creative Copy

Meanwhile, in this edition of Word PLAY...

"I Can't Publish An Email Newsletter" Yes, You Can.
No, I Can't. Yes, You Can!

Word PLAY… Playful Monthly Commentary
On Persuasive Copy For YOUR Business

I hear people tell me all the time that they WISH they could publish a lightly Hume-orous email newsletter, since they know that it’s important to stay in front of their best customers and ideal prospects on a consistent, welcomed basis.

But, they say, they just CAN’T do it.

As Henry Ford once famously said, “Whether you think you can, or you can’t, you’re right.” But, of course, Henry’s wisdom only went so far: Sometimes, when you think you can’t do something, you actually could find a way to do it.

Henry has departed this world, so he really CAN’T publish an email newsletter. But, chances are, YOU CAN.

Here are some common excuse – er, I mean, reasons – people say they can’t publish a newsletter:

“I’m a professional, such as a lawyer or doctor, and my professional ethics prohibit me from marketing my practice, and/or they prohibit me from doing certain types of marketing.”

Hmm. Do you have a website? Do you have a blog on that website? Do you buy bus boards, billboards, surf boards, or social media ads? We’ve all seen LOTS of marketing done by legal and medical practices. And many of them publish email newsletters.

“I’m a fiduciary, don’t you know, and I’m bound by the Secret Financial Code and certain steely-eyed regulators to make sure I never publicly mention the benefits of doing business with me.”

This one is often delivered over a cup-and-saucer, with pinky appropriately raised. And it wouldn’t pay to mention that financial advisors, mortgage brokers, CPAs, real estate agents, and all other kinds of “fiduciary”-type professionals publish email newsletters.

“Corporate controls all my marketing, from my website to my advertising. They would have to approve it, and every time I ask, they say NO.”

You can still publish a “personal” fun newsletter, outside your corporate headquarters’ marketing efforts, and you’ll likely get better results from that than you would from whatever HQ is doing, for far less than they’re charging you to do it!

“I don’t have time… it costs too much… nobody reads those things… I need to spend my ad dollars where I can get a return on the investment.”

These are just silly, in my humble yet extremely well-informed opinion. Hire a newsletter-writin’ PRO like me, and you don’t have to take the time to write. And, especially if it’s me, that writer will cost you a lot less than you think. Often far less than those social media ads you’re dumping money into each month.

People DO read lightly-humorous email newsletters (50% more people, according to studies), because, well, they’re fun to read! You can keep yourself in front of your best prospects on a regular basis in a welcomed way, and still make your key selling points, by publishing a fun newsletter.

Then, when that customer gets a DUI, you’re the lawyer they’ll call. Unless you’re a dentist. My point is, people buy when they are ready, NOT when you’re ready to sell, and if you’ve been in touch with them on a consistent basis, you’re the person they’re likely to call when they need the kind of help you offer.

Most of the people I come across who truly believe they can’t publish a newsletter are people who take themselves WAY too seriously, and want everyone to know just how serious they are.

But for MY ideal client – a person who takes their business very seriously, but doesn’t take themselves too seriously – the fun email newsletter is a great way to market their business or practice. It attracts clients who are good to work with.

Let that VERY serious competitor buy social media ads and attract demanding, bargain-seeking customers. Meanwhile, you’re over here appealing to the BEST clients, and kicking your competitors right in the surf board, metaphorically speaking.

Key Take-Aways From This Edition

  • Some lawyers buy surf boards.
  • Publishing a lightly-humorous email newsletter is a great way to keep your business in front of the very best customers on a consistent and welcomed basis.
  • Even if corporate tells you “NO,” you can still buy a surf board.
  • An email newsletter – especially one that’s fun to read – is one of the most powerful and cost-effective marketing tools for ANY type of business or professional practice.
  • Pinkies should be appropriately raised when delivering excuses over a cup-and-saucer. Check the Associated Press Style Guide for more details.
  • Lighten up. People like to work with fun, enjoyable professionals, and they’re far more likely to pay you what you’re worth.

Now, if those Take-Aways aren’t KEY, the makers of Word PLAY! will double your money back. You also get next month’s Key Take-Aways FREE of charge!


Discussion Questions

  1. 1
    Did you ever kick someone in the surf board, and get away with it?
  2. 2
    What does Corporate say when you ask for a surf board?
  3. 3
    Are you ready to find a way you CAN publish a lightly HUME-orous email newsletter once or twice a month, so your ideal customers will think of YOU when they need the services you offer?

Send your answers to michael@michaelhume.net... The most creative, inspirational response will be eligible to win a PRIZE! *

(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Michael Hume, his heirs and assigns, and a focus group of surfing dentists. Top prize may or may not be a surfing vacation to Wyoming. Hopefully it will be something better. We polled the committee regarding a deadline, and all they said was “Hang Easy, Brah!” Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries have no chance of winning, and may be sent to Corporate and/or thrown overboard. Avoid embarrassment by keeping it pithy. Best of luck!)

Last Month’s Grand Prize Winner: Gladys R. of Laramie, Wyoming won with her entry, which featured, in part, “This is the best thing I’ve ever read, and I read a lot of stuff while I’m on the pot.” We’re honored! Just think: If you can come up with something as solid as Gladys did, YOU could be next month’s winner!

Not yet subscribed to Word PLAY? (HORRORS!)

I write HUME-orous marketing copy for happy clients who take their professions very seriously… but whose customers like and trust them because they don’t take themselves too seriously. Want more info? Get in touch…

Call me: (303) 478-8702
Email me: michael@michaelhume.net
Investigate me: FirewordsMedia.com
Hang Easy: 195 South Rancho Vista Drive, Pueblo West, CO 81007

Hey, would you mind doing me a quick favor? Forward Word PLAY to someone you know who could use a monthly laugh and/or some extremely brilliant insights on marketing copy! If your friend subscribes, both of you get Word PLAY every month... for FREE!

Copyright 2022 by Michael D. Hume, M.S. All rights reserved.
Word PLAY! is not to be trifled with
FireWords Creative Copy, 195 South Rancho Vista Drive , Pueblo West, CO 81007, United States

Michael D. Hume, M.S.

Michael Hume is a freelance writer, singer, and songwriter, and author of The 95th Christmas. He's an honor graduate of the Defense Information School, and holds an M.S. from the University of Colorado School of Business. Michael is the author of hundreds of online articles, including the popular series Great Leadership Requires Inspiration, The Conscience of a Restorationist, Appreciate Your Adversaries, and Take Care of Your Business.

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